


Weird Science

by PoisonJack



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: General au, M/M, Rhys is Handsome Jack's Personal Assistant, jack you're an irresponsible dickhead come on now, rhys is gonna have a very very fun weekend, synthetic drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-19 17:52:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17006340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonJack/pseuds/PoisonJack
Summary: A trip down to R&D ends up with Rhys enjoying the effects of an ecstasy-like drug while Jack continues on with his business. The scientists ask him for feedback on whatever it is her pumped rhys full of >:3One of my older works from a tumblr sentence prompt meme:“Please stop petting the test subjects.”





	Weird Science

**Author's Note:**

> Jack is a menace, but then again, so is Rhys :3

It was supposedly all routine and normal. That’s what Jack had told him as they made their way down to pharmaceuticals.

Rhys didn’t like that section of Helios. It made him nervous and edgy and more than once Jack had joked (at least, he hoped it was a joke) that the giant snake that had gotten loose hadn’t been seen in months and was probably dead. Rhys didn’t want to dwell on the fact that a giant snake was ever even on Helios to begin with, let alone actually lend any credence to the idea that Jack wasn’t messing with him.

They were in one of the labs for Jack’s ‘side projects’, which was code for “Really cool drugs that’ll mess your shit up for a week if you do it right.” Rhys made it his one purpose not to touch _anything_ on these visits. That ended up all being for naught this time around though, as Jack kept them down there for an extended period and Rhys continued to get edgier, more annoyed and snappy, so Jack had taken a hypo, uncapped it, and jabbed it into Rhys’ arm.

He didn’t even have time to yelp before it was already working on him, the furious expression on his face melting away to something a lot more smooth.

“Feelin’ mellow there kiddo?”

Rhys opted not to answer him, focused instead on how his hands felt and the way Jack’s voice sent shivers down his spine.  


“That’s what I thought.”

Jack continued talking to one of the lab attendants before he was pulling Rhys along with him to another area. The younger man went willingly, his body feeling light and good and unafraid and just focused on the way Jack’s had felt against his.

“And how are we coming on cellular body armor? Any of those guys walking kevlar yet?” He motioned to an adjacent lab with volunteer soldiers in it, a lab tech with a clipboard talking to them and taking notes of some kind.  


“Honestly sir, it would be cheaper just to have them actually wear kevlar. Trials in animals worked, but humans are better suited to external removable body armor.”

“Naaah that’s boring.” Jack threw a glance over his shoulder to wear Rhys was rubbing his face against Jack’s back. “Alright there cupcake?” He turned his attention back to the scientist. “You try shooting any of them yet?”

The woman looked unimpressed with Jack’s idea. “That would be a horrible waste of cultivated research and resources, sir.”

“ _Bo-ring_ ,” Jack sang out. He made his way to the adjacent area while the scientist and Rhys both squawked underfoot. He was unlatching his gun from it’s thigh holster as the men and women in the room looked at the CEO with restrained trepidation  


“Handsome Jack, sir, _please_. Volunteers are incredibly hard to find.”

“Then conscript some new ones. What do I even have an army for if they won’t volunteer for self-improvement?” Rhys was running his hands over Jack’s arm, marveling at the pulse in his hand and the way he could feel every hair on the man’s skin. One of the soldiers cleared their throats as a general murmur of unease went through the area. The lab tech in the room stood off to the side rather smartly.  


“I should be more clear,” the woman elaborated. “Finding volunteers who haven’t mutated on the cellular level and bond with the serums are incredibly hard to find.”

Jack pouted and put his gun away. There seemed a slight murmur of relief in the room. “So what should we do then? I want super soldiers ready for anything. If they can’t even stop a bullet then what’s the point?”

“Well trials in skags produced promising results. If we controlled them through injections, armored skags in bandit encampments would cut down on human casualties greatly. Shock collars to paralyze them after the fact would be effective.” Jack seemed contemplative on her words. She turned her attention away from Jack to the volunteers. “Please stop petting the test subjects.”

Jack turned his attention that was as well to see Rhys rubbing his face on a woman’s head and running his fingers through her hair. Jack laughed before he agreed. “Yeah Rhys, stop petting the subjects.”

Rhys made a pleased noise in his throat but didn’t stop. The soldier took the treatment begrudgingly as Jack laughed again and retrieved the younger man. Rhys gladly latched himself to Jack much like a sloth might to a tree.

“What exactly did I pump him full of anyways?”

“That synthetic ecstasy cross you requested.”

Jack laughed hard and gave the younger man a firm pat. “How long is he gonna be like this?”

“It should wear off in about four hours. But he’ll suffer from increased tactility for the next day or so. We still haven’t gotten it completely right. If you could provide us with data feedback though, sir….”

“Got another sample?” She quickly retrieved one, and he grinned and put it in his pocket. “Well I’ll see you in a day or so, then,” Jack told her with a grin and a laugh, taking Rhys’ hand in his. On the elevator ride back up to Jack’s office, Rhys had pressed himself fully against Jack’s front, and was grinding against the older man with verve.

“I can’t wait,” Rhys told him, fingers digging into the older man’s shoulders. “Just…dammit Jack…”  


The CEO smirked and rubbed circles into Rhys’ hips with his thumbs as the elevator doors opened to let them off. “Oh, we are going to have the best weekend ever, kiddo. …just…dammit, let me get my pants off first!”

Rhys fully bowled him over before the elevator, nearly ripping his jeans off his body.

No one understood why the executive elevator had a pair of pants in it, but people knew better than to ask questions. At least it wasn’t a body.

**Author's Note:**

> Rhys' pants are the new Helios cryptid pass it on xD ahahha
> 
> [my tumblr](http://purge-that-urge-rhackathon.tumblr.com/) | [my fic masterlist archive](http://purge-that-urge-rhackathon.tumblr.com/post/134979026515/poisonjack-ao3-fic-archive) | [my twitter](https://twitter.com/PurgeThatUrge) | [my pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/PoisonJack)  
> (Just an FYI: you'll need to be logged in to tumblr for my blog to show up since it's marked explicit :D)
> 
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